Few things....

It's been long I wrote...few reasons, you need the mindset and the time to write, and then most of all, your urge has to be so much that you want to write, leaving everything else aside.
I was pained by the news of the killing of Gaddafi. I am not a pro Gadaffi mobster or something..I am just not happy the way human race is evolving, or perhaps not evolving.
I heard a psycologist speak in our national meeting that 75% of us get an instinct to kill somebody at some point of time in our life. Somebody, who can be your worst enemy or more commonly a person sitting next to you and annoying you while you are on the bus. It is just a momentary instinct. Most of us dont execute it. The psycologist felt tht this instinct is form the days of the cavemen. We liked killing. Have we changed much?
We talk about civilisation and justice and human rights and all that sh-t. But just in the past few months, we saw a mass genocide of tamils in Srilanka, we saw the brutal shootout of Osama bin laden and now Gadaffi. I dont justify the actions of Osama or gadaffi. The way human race behaves has not changed over millena. The whole concept of killing for revenge is not human, It is animal. Killing a fellow of your own species, how evolved that is! when that is done by countries claiming to be the epitome of justice and human rights, this means we 've got a long long way to go...
Killing would not end anything, killing would not end tyranny, it would foster if at all, it would not end terrorism, it would not end enimity, it would not end hate, to see this exuberant zeal in killing seen around the world today, it is just disheatening.
will a day come when we can forgive...deal with crime in a more humane way...really love peace...
will that day ever come?

The mind and its dances

Thought is solid as anything else in the world. A simple thought on repetition several times in the mind  becomes as big as a monster and frightens you with its might. It gains power from yourself, your mind and with its enormous power, enslaves you and convinces you to act on its whim. Any thought, for that matter, is as powerful, good or bad. Amplification of a thought makes it the most powerful thing in the world, capable of creating or destroying universes.

Misfit!

Living in the white man's country is not always that pleasant. You have this feeling of being an untouchable all the time. The learned behaviour of being inferior because of birth. You cant talk like them, cant fully understand what they are talking (or joking) about, cant enjoy thier music, cant feel ecstatic on a friday night "outing" getting drunk for exhorbitantly high prices in the noisiest of the places on earth, where you need to shout your heart out and still can't be heard, cannot go to a play or a show because it costs you a month of ration for the whole family back home, and if you still go, you cant appraciate or understand what's happening there, you want pepper and salt for what ever you order, your seat is the last to get filled in a bus or a tram, it takes a few minutes before you realise that they have made fun of you, and so on.

The felling of being a misfit, is ot one of the good feelings, I would say. But as soon as I call it a feeling, it comes out of my mind. My mind is the origin of that thought, it does not emanate from outside but from my own inside. So I can teach myself to be still happy, ignoring the things around. Is that so?

Conquering Mount Lofty

Autumn in Adelaide is setting in, trees changing colors from green to yellow and red and orange, orchards in the hills giving a golden hue to the hills, cool breeze teasing you when you set out early and the occasional showers exemplifying the dynamicity and life in universe. This city is beautiful in the sense that it is not  bustling like Sydney or Melbourne nor it is quiet and sleepy like Christchurch or Hamilton. It is like a large country town with  a big CBD. Lots of beautiful suburbs, hills just a ride away and the sound of sea waves audible for long distances in the quiet night.

For a single working man, life can chose two ways, it can be boring and monotonous, or it can be exceedingly colorful. I am trying to chose a middle path. A bit of study and a bit of music, a bit of salsa and a bit of bike riding, trying to keep myself from becoming an idle creeper. Salsa is quite interesting we'll talk about it later.

My interest in bike riding was kindled by Peter, as I call him, a veteran bikie. When Guna uncle came down to Adelaide, he stayed in Peter's place and that's how we met. Peter is one of those people with warmth in their heart and an infectious smile on their face, vibrating with friendship all the time. Quite different from what I heard about Germans.  He is quite active, always busy, engaged in creative work. I later learnt that he used to be a professional cyclist. He took us in his car to the top of Mount Lofty the highest point in Adelaide. We had three bikes in the car boot. We reached the hill and parking our car about 50 metres from the summit, we set of on our "uphill" ride to the summit. What a view! just breathtaking!!
Then we set off on our bikes the long downhill ride to Peter's home, a distance of around 40 kms. But most of the time, I need n't have to pedal at all, just sitting on the bike and enjoying the beautiful sights, sounds and smells of the hills was just wonderful.  When we were sitting and relaxing at Peter's house, a bit tired after the long ride, Peter got ready to go and get his car up in the mountain. A 40 km uphill ride!
It took him two hours. That was the day I decided i would go on a bike and conquer Mt Lofty.

Will I ever know?

The purpose is dying slowly
The ultimate goal is becoming shady
 Life is transforming every minute
And the targets change every moment,
Happiness takes new meanings,
Needs boom ever and ever,
Desire grows like desire itself,
So nothing here is permanent.

What is growth,
what is progress
what is real happiness
what is success
questions which probably go in the grave
unanswered....

Bitter emotions fuelled by ego
ego due to lack of love
the craving for luxury
the tendency to run away from struggle
of course a normal human nature I suppose
is this thte goal of life?

will I be happy if I dont struggle
will I be happy if I live like a king
will I be happy if just I am happy
wil I be happy if others say I am a success

What is my real nature
What do I want out of life
What do I have to give others
What do I have to conquer in life

What is the most important life
Life of a doctor,
life of a musician,
Life of a monk
life of a son
which is important
will I ever know?