Its started becomin hectic again....marathon surgeries, unending casuality duties....patients, patients and patients everywhere.....starvation in Operating Room until you feel homicidal, anesthetists who really increase your homicdal tendencies, sucking instruments which mess up any surgery, irritating mess food and after all this the haunting loneliness.
I have to really do something to tackle the anestheeists. The first case was over by 12 30 and the next patient was takena t 3 30 pm imagine...3 hours of wasteful resident's time. Let me see what I can do for this.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Love, contd
this love is a complex feeling......when you think ther eis nothing, there is nothing.
When you think oyu are in love then you are done. you develop thousand other feelings,
yearning, meloncholy, fear, anxiety, happiness, hallucinations, belonging, jealousy, possessiveness,anger, disappointment, lust, fantasy,depression, hypomania..........and all that any one who was or is in love would know and appreciate.
The mind takes the shape and form of the object of our love. Evrywhere in the world, only that form seems t be present. IN every person, you start seeing your beloved. This is a real state of ecstacy. God has infact created this love for man to enjoy it not to sit and brood over and become sad.
If you are in love on some one, become happy, become joyous, dance nad sing with joy...give a love without any expectation to the person, do not worry on the response, you showing your love itself should give you all the happiness.
after all, love is not to become sad about at all.
THis love would of course make you mature, and mind you has the ability to keep you happy for ever no matter how the response from the other side is.
Just stand out of you and think about the monkey dance of your mind around your beloved.
Stand away and observe your mind and enjoy.
That is what is the real enjoyment of love.
ohho ....tooo too much of love ?...OK
When you think oyu are in love then you are done. you develop thousand other feelings,
yearning, meloncholy, fear, anxiety, happiness, hallucinations, belonging, jealousy, possessiveness,anger, disappointment, lust, fantasy,depression, hypomania..........and all that any one who was or is in love would know and appreciate.
The mind takes the shape and form of the object of our love. Evrywhere in the world, only that form seems t be present. IN every person, you start seeing your beloved. This is a real state of ecstacy. God has infact created this love for man to enjoy it not to sit and brood over and become sad.
If you are in love on some one, become happy, become joyous, dance nad sing with joy...give a love without any expectation to the person, do not worry on the response, you showing your love itself should give you all the happiness.
after all, love is not to become sad about at all.
THis love would of course make you mature, and mind you has the ability to keep you happy for ever no matter how the response from the other side is.
Just stand out of you and think about the monkey dance of your mind around your beloved.
Stand away and observe your mind and enjoy.
That is what is the real enjoyment of love.
ohho ....tooo too much of love ?...OK
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
My Love
This is a letter to that girl in my dreams....that girl who is part of me
This is just another letter to you…one of the thousands I write in my mind to send you right from the day I started feeling you as mine…different in one thing that this you are going to read..
Any relationship has to mature..Ours started so wonderfully, just like the blossoming of a flower. I have had my own fantasies, worries, doubts, anxieties about this relationship which, right from the beginning, I thought is going to be one of the most important things in my life.
I always loved to be with you. I sincerely yearned for it. But I had my doubts. I thought it is all one sided.. it is all ‘coz I m forcing you and you don’t want to make me feel bad. Many times I had this thought .
Eveytime you behaved well with me, I grew more guilty of not having done anything to keep you with me.. the same guilt kills me now too when I talk to you..
I never had intentions initially to be physically close to you…as days went on… I could not think of anything except you.. I started having the feeling.. it grew really really intense at one point of time..i began forgetting all other things… but when you were near me.. I just thought to have you with me for more time and nothing else. But till now I feel bad. I can never think of anyone else, Dear.
Though I feel getting physically closer does not mean anything or it is not necessary to be really close by heart, I love to be with you and I have no shame in telling this…if not now any time in this lifetime or next…you would be looking a Queen to me when you grow 75 or 80…
Nowadays, I really try to take away your thought from my heart but just as I try to do it, the thought pulls back its seat in my heart with double vigour..how to avoid thinking about you?
When I talk to you, either I should not feel guilty or I should not talk to you.. temme how not to feel guilty while talkin to you..’coz I hate the other option.
This is my version of the story..Was it just admiration and respect or something more on me..ask yourself and tell me..I hope you are getting along well there…I want you to be happy as ever..Take m y wish if you have ever thought I am important to you..Now that there is no need of hide and seek, you can tell me what all you really felt..I want you to be my best friend if not the best half..
the TRAUMA
I'M back in Trauma center from today....nightouts..
relay surgeries...lots and lots of patients and above all ....so much responsibility
A person who has a fracture does not become normal after the treatment...if the treatment has been invasive...Many patients remain "patients" even with united bones, modify their lifesyle and dont return back to their pre injury level work. Lack of aggressive post op care including physiotherapy, lack of strict followu p and documentation of such a thing happening in India are the probable reasons. Let's see if we can do something for that.
Had visited IG stadium y'day as part of our sports clininc.
Tha stadium is in shambles. Construction work goin on everywhere. the games would commence in 2010 but I dono whether these people would finish of building th stadium till that time. The clinic itself has been shifted to amakeshift building.
Injury to sports people is devastating....In INdia sports means cricket..but there aer thousand other sports other than cricket.
If an athlete sustains a fracture or sprain at the height of the season, he is done. Many lose their chance to enter national or intrnational team...the work all these days has gone waste..dreams are shattered..they become depressed dont gain the confidence to play again...some play despite the injry not listening to medical advice ending up in incapatitatiing disability.
My heart says I have to work for the betterment of sportspersons in INdia. Let's see What He plans.
relay surgeries...lots and lots of patients and above all ....so much responsibility
A person who has a fracture does not become normal after the treatment...if the treatment has been invasive...Many patients remain "patients" even with united bones, modify their lifesyle and dont return back to their pre injury level work. Lack of aggressive post op care including physiotherapy, lack of strict followu p and documentation of such a thing happening in India are the probable reasons. Let's see if we can do something for that.
Had visited IG stadium y'day as part of our sports clininc.
Tha stadium is in shambles. Construction work goin on everywhere. the games would commence in 2010 but I dono whether these people would finish of building th stadium till that time. The clinic itself has been shifted to amakeshift building.
Injury to sports people is devastating....In INdia sports means cricket..but there aer thousand other sports other than cricket.
If an athlete sustains a fracture or sprain at the height of the season, he is done. Many lose their chance to enter national or intrnational team...the work all these days has gone waste..dreams are shattered..they become depressed dont gain the confidence to play again...some play despite the injry not listening to medical advice ending up in incapatitatiing disability.
My heart says I have to work for the betterment of sportspersons in INdia. Let's see What He plans.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Relaxing.....
Im having a very good time....
got up late at 7 today
it was raining outside
pleasant drizzle....lovely climate ....made me stick on to the couch for another hour
had some biscuits and coffee
went to Gymkhana and had a nice drill of Shuttle aftr a long time
then bath and good lunch
sleep again till 5 pm
what more than this is relaxation for a medico
trying to learn some yoga these days...
the experience at Rishikesh has been awesome
Ashram atmosphere is the one needed now
trying to recreate the same atmosphere here
let's see
got up late at 7 today
it was raining outside
pleasant drizzle....lovely climate ....made me stick on to the couch for another hour
had some biscuits and coffee
went to Gymkhana and had a nice drill of Shuttle aftr a long time
then bath and good lunch
sleep again till 5 pm
what more than this is relaxation for a medico
trying to learn some yoga these days...
the experience at Rishikesh has been awesome
Ashram atmosphere is the one needed now
trying to recreate the same atmosphere here
let's see
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Our great teacher
wrting blog is also difficult for a lazy man....a lazy man who has the thought and vision to initiate things but lacks the constant motivation needed to continue...carry on the work he started and finish it.
as days run...time makes a man senior, time keeps giving man high respect, one who has spent more time in this world is respected....he is called an "old man"...definitely respectable as it is expected that time teaches us every moment...makes us wiser every moment..after all that is what is expected of people...old ones are considered wiser...
do all learn equally from the ggreatet of teachers...time?
no, i dint think so. just as in a classroom, some lag behind....many of these old men and women also have wasted their most valuable opportunity of learninig from time....simply dint use their teacher properly.
One of the most special things about life is that once spent it never comes back. There is no second chance given for spending a minute
evry minute spent usefully gives tremendous satisfaction
every moment spent wastefully would bring dismay and doom
mind you, you have come into this world fora short stint
you have no time to waste.
Aum Tat Sat.
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