Living in the white man's country is not always that pleasant. You have this feeling of being an untouchable all the time. The learned behaviour of being inferior because of birth. You cant talk like them, cant fully understand what they are talking (or joking) about, cant enjoy thier music, cant feel ecstatic on a friday night "outing" getting drunk for exhorbitantly high prices in the noisiest of the places on earth, where you need to shout your heart out and still can't be heard, cannot go to a play or a show because it costs you a month of ration for the whole family back home, and if you still go, you cant appraciate or understand what's happening there, you want pepper and salt for what ever you order, your seat is the last to get filled in a bus or a tram, it takes a few minutes before you realise that they have made fun of you, and so on.
The felling of being a misfit, is ot one of the good feelings, I would say. But as soon as I call it a feeling, it comes out of my mind. My mind is the origin of that thought, it does not emanate from outside but from my own inside. So I can teach myself to be still happy, ignoring the things around. Is that so?
3 comments:
Perhaps the solution to the problem is the ‘company’ we choose to be in?
The feeling of subordination is something that has been taught since our birth (i.e. as you rightfully said, a learned behavior) in India, where the distinction between giving respect and losing self-respect in that process, gets blurred. Hierarchy doesn’t exist in the Western world to the extent that it does in India.
I’m not sure if this ‘feeling’ can be taken off by teaching oneself to ignore it. To me, it is just two different cultures. I am sure a westerner thrown into Indian way of life will have many more ‘misfit’ experiences.
Though inexperienced to advice, more time, more experience and establishing like-minded friend circles have been my ways of counteracting the ‘feeling’.
P.S.: Though I understand the pain, ironically, your post with a comical touch (salt and pepper for what ever you order!) brought smiles :).
Pavani,
Thanks for the comment,
I had written this on one of my worst days, I dont feel this way all the time, it's episodic...
But...I shall do what you say ...:)
Thanks!
Blog from the heart.. Cheers mate :)
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